Let your energy floooow in alignment...
In November 2018 I had a sport accident, resulting in several skull fractures and a concussion which took 9 months to recover from. Nine months of living with an energy level (much) lower than what I was used to. It lead me to reflect on energy and to learn by doing. I learned to make choices that benefit my own energy level and therefore well-being. Unfortunately it took a painful accident to learn this, but I am nonetheless very grateful it happened. Life-changing!
In order to deepen my learnings for myself, I decided to investigate the power of energy further and write it down. Maybe you can benefit from it as well.
Earlier, we have looked at body energy and mind energy. It is wise that we first take care of our body, then our mind and then our soul and our spirit. Both body and mind energy serve as a foundation for the next and last form of energy: alignment energy.
What is alignment energy?
I am sure you have experienced happiness and full immersion in an activity you have been doing! Those moments in which you are fully focused on what you are doing and you forget everything around you…! These are moments in which you are in alignment with who you are and what you love. And your energy flows freely…
For me, this alignment often happens when I practice bikram yoga, when I dance, when I enjoy nature or create something new (I recently rediscovered Lego 😉 !). Luckily I have also experienced it at work, for example while designing workshops, while having a meaningful and personal conversation with a colleague and when I create structure. I also experience it when I write articles like this one!
So it seems to be possible to find alignment in different aspects of your life, not only in your private life. When you are aligned, you allow your energy to flow.
You will for sure feel this, because you feel happy, because you feel the power of your own creativity and because you can connect on a deeper level with yourself and maybe also with the people around you.
Interestingly enough, other people will also feel this energy. It even has been scientifically proven that the (electromagnetic) energy you radiate is picked up by bodies and brains of other people when they are physically near you. So not only you benefit from this energy and happy feelings, the people around you will too!
Now the question is: how do I create more of this alignment energy?
Creating more alignment energy is an ongoing quest
In the past few months, I have been looking for the answer to this question myself. The freedom I have experienced since I left my job has brought me a lot of happiness and energy. I am able to choose for what gives me energy and joy on every single moment, I am able to follow my heart and do what makes me happy. I am clearly aligned with my values and with who I really am. And yes, the more I align with them, the better I understand my purpose which is around creating more genuine (=free) human connections, so everybody can make a difference and innovate, achieve goals and improve well-being.
On my quest (learning by doing) to find out how to create more alignment energy and understand my purpose better, I learned it is actually quite simple: 1. Find out what really matters to you, 2. Make a start! and 3. Live in alignment
Sounds easy? Yes, and in principle it is easy to understand and do the things you love and value. However, very often we let things get in the way of living in alignment with them.
Let’s look into these three steps in some more detail.
Step 1: Find out what really matters to you, find your purpose
It all starts with finding out what you love doing and what really matters to you. This can then lead to understanding what your values are, what your purpose is, what you want to leave behind on this world.
Note that your purpose isn’t static throughout your entire life and that you can forever recreate yourself.
Whether you want to find more alignment or find your purpose, in reality you will probably find they are exactly the same. Alignment will automatically lead to living your purpose, whether you are aware of it or not.
Habits to find out what brings you joy and what matters to you
My experience is that there are two ways to find out what you love doing, what matters to you and what your purpose is. I think you need both, but depending on your personality, one may work better for you than the other.
Habit 1: Experience what gives you energy – connect to yourself
Experiment to find out what gives you energy. Use your everyday life experiences – you have loads of them… Try something new, anything! Also try activities that help you express yourself, your talents, your feelings, what really matters to you. Think about music, art (e.g. painting, wood-working) or dance. Reconnect to yourself by reconnecting with your body.
So, go out there! Experiment! Try something new! Experience!
And while you experience, regularly calibrate with yourself how it makes you feel. Does it make you feel good? Does it give energy? Does is bring joy and happiness? Then you are on the right track!
Maybe it helps to write down what you are learning about what brings joy and energy, so you can – after a few weeks – review what you have written down and draw some conclusions and what you love doing and what you can do more of!
By the way, we also learn what really matters to us by doing things we don’t like… so grab every experience to feel how it feels!
Habit 2: Self-observation
Schedule time for yourself to regularly unload from daily demands and create space for stillness, reflection and development. This is time where you can sit quietly in solitude and turn your awareness within yourself, look back and ask yourself some profound questions, especially about your feelings, beliefs, and thoughts.
I highly recommend taking the inputs from the first habit into this second habit: what have you learned about things that give you joy and energy?
Be compassionate with yourself: evaluate and learn from your actions and thought processes without judgement or bias. Be curious, be vulnerable, be open to yourself.
And once you are at the point that your purpose is starting to shine through: Be courageous! Write it down! Write down what your desired future looks like, which impact you will make and what the world will look like as a result. Then visualise it, make it strong for yourself!
Step 2: Make a start!
So, you have learned what gives you joy and energy, what really matters to you, and maybe even what your purpose is. Time to jump and act on what you have found! Time to choose for your own happiness! Time to follow your path!
Really? Jump? Now? But…😱😲😞 I can’t!!!
Why do we often freeze when it is time to make the jump?
We start doubting, we feel fear. After all, we don’t know what exactly will happen when we jump…
Let me tell you one thing: it is very normal to have doubts and fears.
Nevertheless, it is you who decides if you let these fears stop you. It is up to you to decide whether you follow your path. It is up to you to create focus and make choices that are in alignment with your path, your purpose, your happiness.
If it is all within your own decision power, why is it so hard?
I see three things holding us back:
- Self-doubt: We are not sure whether we can do it, whether we have the capabilities. Or sometimes, we may even believe we are not worth it. We don’t give ourselves permission to be who we truly are…
- Insecurity: We need to give up what is known to us. And whether we like where we are
- ow or not, it is known, it gives known outcomes, it is predictable, it is our comfort zone.
- People around us: We allow other people’s opinions to stop us. We allow the – often unspoken – conventions in our society to hold us back. We allow others to hold us where we are, because that is where they are. And by allowing others to stop us, we give away our power. We end up depending on others… We let others decide on what we do with our life, resulting in postponing our dreams and happiness.
Habits to help you make that jump
Here are three habits to help you overcome your doubts and your fears and help you make that jump. They for sure have helped me.
Habit 3: Take the first step, no matter big or small
Every change starts with a first step. It doesn’t matter what exactly that first step is, and whether it is big or small. As long as it is a step into the direction of your path, your purpose and it brings you joy (remember to calibrate how you feel, see also Habit 1).
If you feel the jump is still too big and scary right now, begin by making a small step. This will give you confidence and energy to take the second step. It is all about practicing to make decisions focused on your own energy, joy and happiness, leading you to alignment. Focus your energy, focus your thoughts, focus your actions, focus your attention: focus your choices, no matter big or small.
A small trick to make this first step somewhat easier, is to visualize yourself making this first step. See yourself do it. And repeat this visualization in your head if needed, until it feels more natural to you.
Give yourself permission to make that step and see what happens. The more deliberately you express your true self by choosing for your path, the more you will see the ways to align yourself with your path even more.
Dare to start!
Habit 4: Gather supporters
Deciding to do things differently is not always easy. You will encounter mental blocks (like limiting beliefs, fears) and physical blocks (like the job you are in, the place where you live). Some of them you will be able to overcome yourself, using the energy and skills you have.
Other blocks may take away too much of your energy to overcome them yourself. To overcome these blocks, you need supporters, guides and mentors. They will provide you with the energy you need, the knowledge or skills you need and maybe most importantly, they will help you (re-)gain your confidence.
So find people who give you energy, who believe in you, who encourage you. People that really care about you, who help you give yourself permission to continue to follow your path and to be/do different(ly). Most likely you already have some of these people in your environment. And as soon as you start your journey and you open up for it, new guides and mentors will also come on your way.
Stay in your energy!
Habit 5: Courage – face the fear and do it anyway
A habit around courage… well it is more something to practice to help you grow in every aspect of life: understand what is holding you back and let go of the limiting belief, let go of the fear that is causing it.
It helps to write it down.
1. Start with writing down: What is my goal? Who will I be when I have achieved this? How will I feel?
2. Then write down: What is holding me back? What is keeping me from moving forward? What am I afraid of? Be absolutely honest with yourself. Are you afraid of embarrassing yourself? Do you worry you don’t have what it takes? Don’t judge yourself right now. Just write.
Understanding what is holding you back is usually already half of the work that needs to be done to let it go. Usually you have developed one or more (behaviour) strategies to deal with this belief or fear. It is also important to understand these strategies: How do I react when I believe that thought? What happens?
3. The last step of the process is either changing your belief or letting go:
a. Change your belief: Usually, the beliefs you hold are not true. At least, not entirely. Ask yourself: Is this true? How can I know absolutely that this is true? Find evidence of where the belief is not true. Now you have created room to adjust the belief. For example “nobody listens to me” can be proven wrong by realising there are people listening to you.
If you are able to simply start believing the opposite (e.g. people want to hear what I have to say), because you now realise you are not telling yourself the truth, please do so. Alternatively, ask yourself what value is below the limiting belief (e.g. sharing knowledge to help other people) and try to build a belief that will support you from that value (e.g. I have useful knowledge). Values are stronger than beliefs!
b. Letting go of the belief or the fear: The belief, fear and/or protection strategy has served its purpose in the past, it protected you and it helped you get where you are now. But it has served its purpose, you don’t need it anymore. Be thankful to what it has brought to you and tell it you don’t need it anymore. It can be helpful to visualise the belief/fear, symbolically thanking it and kindly telling it to leave (or remove it yourself). Let it go…
What I often think of are the things people say they regret when they know their life will end soon. The number 1 regret of people dying is “I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.” When people look back on their life, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made.
Have the courage to be different!
Step 3: Live in alignment
Once you have made the first steps on your path, you will experience more and more alignment. The more deliberately you express your true self by choosing for alignment with your path, the more you will see ways to align yourself with your path even more. Some call this The Law of Attraction: what we give attention to grows. And what we give attention to, we will get more of.
It is important you continue applying Habit 1 of this article (“Experience what gives you energy – connect to yourself”) and regularly calibrate with yourself how your (new) experiences make you feel. This will help you stay in alignment and follow your path.
The more you are in alignment, the more the brain will move to a higher level of consciousness, enabling you get new insights, apply impartial judgement and think differently. You will be more free, more imaginative, more creative and more innovative. Our best ideas come from this state of being!
Living in alignment doesn’t mean it will be without hardships and challenges though. Don’t be discouraged when unpleasant events occur that make you unhappy. The question is how you can accept events that are out of your control, maintain inner peace and use them to grow.
This brings me to the last habit, the habit of acceptance. I have to admit, on some occasions I apply this habit successfully and I am able to learn and grow from unpleasant situations, but on some occasions I still find it very hard to accept things the way they are… Ah well, there is always room for growth!
Habit 6: Acceptance
Whenever something unwanted happens to us, we have a choice: we can fight, resist, be miserable and struggle ‘against the world’ – all causing turbulence in our minds – OR we embrace it and remain calm.
But how can we embrace it and stay calm when we really only wish it didn’t happen and we would like to turn back time.
It helps to think “Ok, it sucks right now and I feel really bad, but it also happened for a reason. What is the positive in all this? What is the lesson behind this challenge? What do I have to learn from this?”. In my experience, asking yourself these questions doesn’t immediately relieve you from feeling bad, but it does speed up the process towards feeling calm again.
And it is true: When one door closes, another one opens up. Instead of staring at the closed door in front of you, or getting tired and hurt while you try to break it, you can also turn around and find out which doors are open.
Coming back to my sport accident in November 2018, this is exactly what I did. From the first day on I decided to assume ‘it happens for a reason’ which prevented me from feeling bad about it and it allowed me to take the learnings from it. I learned to choose consciously for activities that give me energy and avoid activities that cost me energy. I learned to choose for my own well-being first and prevent wasting energy by wanting to please everyone around me. I learned to say no. These were all lessons I had to learn anyway. Unfortunately it took a painful accident to learn them, but I am nonetheless very grateful it happened.
It also lead to writing these four articles on energy, which enabled me to reflect on many things I have learned over the years in different areas of my life, connect and structure them, deepen my understanding and create something with that. I have enjoyed every minute of the process of learning and creating, so much that I must conclude that ‘learning & creating’ even belongs to my purpose! Learn while doing! 😊
Can I ask you a favour? I would love to hear from you! Please send me a message with your thoughts on this. And feel free to share this article, or any of my earlier articles, further.
I want to thank you as reader for taking the time to read one or more articles. And I am especially thankful for the friends that have encouraged me, took time to debate with me and have given me feedback along the way. You are my supporters: A big and warm thank you!!